March 2010
90 posts
29
i had a dream about you last night
about your lips and the way your eyes are as bright as a full moon
i haven’t stopped thinking about you since i woke up
i wish i new who you where
28
i finally got paid
i can buy as much film as i want :)
i don’t want to disappear. i want to stay with you forever. i want to remember your smell your laugh your voice everything its so hard to think that one day this will all be gone it feels like we just got here
26
day 5 no sleep.
HELP
hes amazing
i want to smell him
25
iv just got happy finally
i was reading an amazing young lads Wordpress and what he would write and the things he would do to just prove how he wants to live and how nothing matters made me think.
i need to be more happy and stop worrying about nothing. drugs will never make matters better only worst
so I’m not going to speak to someone and I’m not going to keep living how i live
i...
24
i spoke to my mum about you tonight
i told her how i cant sleep and how my heart beats because i worry about everything
she told me something i never thought she would say.
she told me that the easiest way to love is to leave and i didn’t understand i couldn’t get why she would think that why leaving is the easiest way to love. but then i got it
you can love someone for as long as...
dear me
Your heart’s a mess You won’t admit to it It makes no sense But I’m desperate to connect And you, you can’t live like this.
Like poor mister pitiful, I can’t turn you loose. You move like a dream I had, woke up sweating in my room. Your Mama’s got plans, your daddy’s aim is true. She never understood that it ain’t no good. Papa never heard the cool
I keep letting it slide. And I don’t know. Part of me says yes and part of me says no. This is nothing new. But it’s nothing that I enjoy doing. You ask me why I’ve just been “alright” as if you don’t know why. And you tell me to find something that makes me feel amazing when frankly, that was you. I’m sick of finding you over and over again. Its your turn to discover me. I’ve done my best.You...
day and night I’m always tired
but at night i stay up just late enough
until i am exhausted enough
until i can fall on my bed
and into immediate slumber.
because i cant stand
to lie in my bed in a dark room
alone with my thoughts
for so many hours.
23
today someone asked me what i like it life
i could not answer
i feel low
3am
another night with no sleep
fuck feeling inadequate. fuck laying in bed thinking about everything your not doing. fuck feeling like time is running out. fuck self image. fuck his perfect face. fuck your unwashed hair. fuck not trying hard enough. fuck the internet.fuck colds.fuck being alone.fuck loneliness.fuck having to do it all over again tomorrow.fuck youth. this isnt youth. this isnt freedom and weightlessness.fuck not...
22
i sit awake every night your not here
thinking to much writing to much for my own good
I’m sick of this I’m sick of feeling so alone when I’m not
I’m paranoid of everything every move i take i have to think twice before to no its right
whats happened to me
why am i such a mess why is my only way to tell people no one threw words on a blank screen
i don’t feel...
21
its 4:52 am
no sleep again
im sick of this im sick of me.
20
The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it
We cannot be sure of having something to live for unless we are willing to die for it
Many will call me an adventurer - and that I am, only one of a different sort: one of those who risks there skin to prove there platitudes.
im sorry.
19
i never had anything good.
18
its 6:20 am
i have not slept again
I’m such a fucking mess without you asleep by my side.
All I know is that you’re so nice, You’re the nicest thing I’ve seen. I wish that we could give it a go, See if we could be something. I wish I was your favourite girl, I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world. I wish I was your favourite smile, I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style. I wish you couldn’t figure me out, But you always wanna know what I was...
17
today i got my photos back
here they are.
I’m sorry sometimes i get a little jealous,thinking that someone else could make you happier then i could i guess its my insecurities acting up because i know that I’m not the prettiest smartest or must fun and exciting girl but i do know that no matter how hard and long you look you’ll never find somebody that loves you like i do.
16
i need you i need you i fucking need you OK. it scared me I’m scared I’m scared of me i am fucking scared of me i am a fucking idiot a damn fool you are asleep now and your sure steady breathing is the only thing that makes me feel safe comforted don’t ever go away okay? you cant i am afraid of my fear. iv never been this scared. I’ve never loved this deeply. you are the...
i feel like telling you everything
talking until
my words aren’t apart of me anymore.
they are apart of the air and suddenly they are not my problem
and I’m free.
